A story is told that Zé Bartira, on a certain day, did not enter his house because he could not open the door. For those who don't know him or don't remember him, Zé Bartira is a drunk, a character in my book “Transforme Sua Vida com Humor & Motivação”. They say that the nickname Bartira is because everything he earns the bar takes away. On one of these nights he came home, as usual, completely drunk and went to open the door. Due to its ethylic state, it did not see a cockroach over the keyhole. When he touched the key, thinking it was the keyhole, he touched the cockroach, which, feeling pressured, rose a little, and he still believing that it would really be the keyhole, tried again and the cockroach climbed a little more. And so on, until the cockroach went to the other side of the door. It is said that at that moment he cried out desperately:
- Woman! Open the door from the inside that the keyhole went to that side. In life, too, when you cannot turn the key, you are unable to access what you want. In this digitized world, who, on countless occasions, cannot access an application because they don't remember the password, which is nothing more than a type of key. In some situations it is used figuratively, as in the phrase: close with a golden key, where it is applied symbolizing that the closure of something was done with mastery. While in the phrase: turning the key, it is used when in the literal sense of opening something. Already in the figurative sense is when you intend to change something, or even seek something new. It is on the context of change that I want to work this article. When it comes to changes, human beings have a natural resistance, even when they are aware of this need, it is not easy to change. He prefers to stay in the comfort zone than “turn the key” and live better moments.
He keeps looking for excuses, trying as the saying goes: cover the sun with a sieve. In some situations, he even outsources his indecision, blaming other people or situations. And in this impetus to justify his attitudes, or sometimes the lack of them, he lives a mediocre life. It is necessary to change, as the philosopher of Ephesus said: Nothing is permanent, except change. In my lecture, which has the same title as this article “Turning the key and giving new meaning to life”, I address the importance of change in order to give or find a new meaning for our lives. For this I created the KEY Method. When we acquire new knowledge, change habits, take action, understand our values and make the right choices, the consequences of this are that changes will happen and our life will gain a new purpose. I will explain each step of this method, which if applied to your life will lead you to new horizons:
1 - KNOWLEDGE: My old father already said that knowledge does not take up space, and the great scientist Albert Einstein complements this when he says that the mind that is open to a new idea will never return to its original size. In a study by the Institute Standanfort/USA, it was concluded that to be successful it is enough to have 12.5% of IQ (Intelligence) and 87.5% of EQ (Emotions), which is nothing more than how to use knowledge wisely. That's why behavioral skills, the so-called Soft Skills, are so highly valued these days. Research shows that 87% of layoffs today are due to behavioral problems. In the Manual of Life we find the importance of having wisdom: “And you will know the Truth and it will set you free”. Knowledge used wisely will make you discover the right time to turn the key.
2 – HABITS: Neuroscience explains very well the question of the synapse that makes the connection between neurons. In this process, when we create habits, it is created as if it were a “road” connecting neurons. That's why the difficulty of changing certain habits, if we don't change the paths. To change habits, you need to create new connections. There are three basic steps to this:
– Decision: You have to decide which habit to start with. Here's a super tip, start with the small habits. In the maritime industry with the creation of large ships, they found it impossible to move the big rudders because of their size. It wouldn't have engines strong enough to make them turn. A small rudder was placed on the large rudder, like a kind of flap, which when activated creates turbulence, in the desired direction, which makes the main rudder follow the same direction. With habits it works like this, start with small habits and soon without realizing the big ones will also be changed.
– Replacement: Personal transformation requires replacing old habits with new ones, or bad habits with positive ones. This is used a lot in treatments for chemical dependents, but also other types of negative habits. The reward technique is also used, for example, the person who wants to quit smoking, when he feels like smoking, instead of a cigarette, he puts a bullet in his mouth. Carlos Hilsdorf says that discipline is an achievement that requires the acquisition of new habits and the abandonment of old ones. – Repetition: Charles Duihigg in his book “The Power of Habit” states that the brain takes 21 to 35 days to assimilate a new habit. So we can define that every habit, whether it is positive or negative, has repetition as its essence. That's why I believe this tip is the most fundamental when it comes to change. Will Durant says we are what we repeatedly do. Excellency, then it is not a way of acting, but a habit. Therefore, if we want to turn the key and transform our lives, we must persevere in repetition until the new habit is consolidated.
3 – Attitudes: I usually say that every dream is born first in the heart, rises to the mind and is fulfilled with the hands. Unfortunately most dreams do not come true, they end up dying in the mind. In fact, the mind is the biggest cemetery of dreams. Studies carried out with terminally ill patients state that people in this final moment of life do not regret what they did, but what they did not do. If you want to transform your life, don't delegate it to anyone, go there and turn the key. Because dreams without action are illusion. Attitude is everything. Let's make it happen.
4 – VALUES: I say that our values are for us what roots are for trees. They can lose the leaves, the branches, sometimes even part of the trunk, and still survive. But if they lose their roots they will die. So are we when we lose our values and principles, we will be dead to life, although we are physically alive. So don't give up your values, because they are what sustain us. They are non-negotiable and there is not even money in the world to pay. I really like this phrase: If something costs your peace, then it is too expensive. Turn that key and don't give up your values. Understand that they determine your mission.
5 – CHOICES: I say that life is made of choices, even when you decide not to choose, you ended up making a choice. When I look at the letters X and Y, which express our DNA, I see in them the representation of choices. The X represents a crossroads and the Y a bifurcation. That's why I use this analogy. When in our lives we are faced with situations that require decisions, we are forced to exercise the power of choice. What we live today are the results of our choices made in the past and what we will be tomorrow depends on what we choose today. Even God has endowed us with free choice and that gives us the freedom to choose but at the same time brings us the responsibility of our choice. We have a Chinese saying that shows this truth: we can choose what to sow, but we are obliged to reap what we sow. Life is a planting where, sooner or later, we will reap what we sow. The importance of choosing wisely is explicit. It doesn't matter what your current situation is, because there is a possibility that it will be changed from now on: just make your choices more assertive.
Therefore, if you want a new meaning in your life, find new meaning and change your destiny, choose to turn the key.
Always remember this: Be yourself the protagonist of your life, because there is no one as special as you to play that role!!!
Eduardo Martinez, Dr. Motivation, CEO of Top Training Trainings and Lectures, Speaker, Writer and Specialist in People Management.